Searching for Salvation
by Kohaku Frost
Summary: Warning! Not for children! Extremely mature themes in later chaps! Spike wakes up in a hospital, determined to find and fix his "mistake" with Faye. But, what mistake could he have made? Not what you might think or expect. COMPLETE
1. Prologue

Searching for Salvation

Chapter One, Prologue

_It had ended harshly, violently, taking away all I had ever longed for, and giving me an eternity of despair to cherish. I was now more alone than I had ever been before, and the agony soothed my desire for him, my need to tell him my soul. I can't imagine telling him all the sins I've committed, nor the crimes I've master-minded, but will tell him my love, now, while he's still within reach..._

The nurse had just gotten on duty, and she was assigned to watch over a single comatose patient. An easy job, when he'd been that way for over a year, and so she'd brought the latest smutty romance, and she was curled in a chair beside the window. The insistent beeps of the machine were a steady, annoying reminder that the poor man was probably going to die soon – no one had ever recovered from that many gunshot wounds to the vitals, and the entire medical staff was amazed at his perseverance. She never noticed when he opened his eyes and started watching her. Or the moment he smilingly started undoing his tubes (the characters in her book were about to kiss, she thought the increased beeps were normal) and creeping from the bed. He slipped on his spare clothes, pocketed the note on top without reading it, and slowly, silently, staggered out the door. It would be another three hours before the nurse dragged her face away from her book long enough to check the bed.

Spike Spiegel was a one-man army, and he was determined to find and correct his one mistake. How he was going to do that, he had no idea. What he would do when he eventually found said mistake, he didn't really know. What he'd do if she said no was certain though. He would fade away into nothing like he had been meant to do, so long ago. He smiled in the fluorescent lighting of the hospital hallway.

"Faye, you never could say no, could you?" He walked to the front desk, signed his own release. He stepped out into the sunshine, pale, ghostly, and once again trapped beneath the Martian sky. But not for long. Oh, no, Spike was leaving this damn rock one way or another, and never –never- coming back. He started whistling and headed for the ship docks. His account was full and cheap ships were easily had.

"Wait for me Faye. Soon, you'll be mine, in eternity."

End Chapter One, Chapter Two will be posted when I have 5 reviews.


	2. Martian Memories

Searching for Salvation

Chapter Two, Martian Memories

_Spike...I can almost hear his voice in my dreams, him whispering in the depths of my mind, comforting me. I want to see him again, but I don't know how...he vanished from the hospital, and that was three days ago. I know he'll try to find me...after what I did; I wouldn't be surprised if he wanted to kill me..._

Spike was angry and tired. He'd searched every nook and cranny of Mars, every bar, brothel and casino on the whole damn planet, and still no sign of Faye. He was beginning to think she was hiding from him, afraid of him, and he couldn't understand why. He loved her, needed her, and he had to fix his mistake, he had to tell her... It would be a cold day on Venus before he let her escape him. She couldn't have let him die, could she? His dark angel, fallen goddess, who haunted him with the memory of tears in her clear green eyes... Her velvet black/violet hair had touched his pillow, the remnants of the Bebop had saved that for him. The agony of her tears had soaked his spare jacket, but these signs were old, months old. He knew Jett was wasting away down by the docks, trying to drink away his memories of Spike and adventure. Ed...well, Ed and Ein were gone, and a good thing too. Spike didn't want them to see him like this, lost over some two bit whore who relished danger and lived on the knife edge of death.

His angel, his will to live rekindled in the fire of her kiss, the icy coldness of her hands when she was afraid. Julia was dead, had been dead for years, and he had nearly died with her. It was Faye who had been there at the end, cradling his head in her lap as the medics stormed up the stairs and snatched him from her...Faye, his fairy princess who knew no joy, save that of loving him...

Spike stumbled down the street, buffeted around bye the devilish Martian winds past places he'd loved Julia, places he'd lost Faye. He had barely noticed how she had finally remembered, that terrified despair for all that she had lost in her eyes, her embrace, her begging him not to leave her. He stumbled, tripped, fell, and got up again, cursing what little time he had left to find her, to love her.

_Spike was all I could think of, living there on Ganymede. Jett's old, wise remonstrations couldn't help me, nor could his tender, gentle loving ease the agony. I gave up my guns, my ship, my wings, and my dreams to forget him, and it wasn't enough. Spike...I need you...find me, please..._

It was dusk when Spike reached the barren hill with its tiny house perched on top. A kindly neighbor had directed Spike to it, saying that it was the last place anyone had seen Faye. He climbed the crumbling stone steps to its crest, and looked at the pitiful derelict shack, neglected as he had neglected Faye. But no loving caress or tender gift could undo how he had carelessly used Faye, calling them name of another woman as he held her. Spike sighed and tried to inhale past the constriction in his throat. He pushed the rotted door in, and watched carelessly as it fell of its hinges into the dust.

"Faye...?"

There was no response, and Spike walked back down the hill without going inside. He had searched all of Mars, and now he would go to Venus, where the goddess of love and beauty was said to live. What better place than that for his Faye?

End Chapter Two, thanks for the reviews, and five more will get you chapter Three. Current reviews: 9. Needed reviews (total): 14


	3. The Love of Venus

Searching for Salvation

Chapter Three, The Love of Venus

Author's Note: Sorry if the chapters are short, but I'm getting them up quickly, and I don't have time to write long stuff. Besides, I was originally planning for this to be a one shot tragedy. But, if you keep reviewing, I'll keep writing. Who cares about college grades?

_Spike was always laughing...laughing at me, the world...but mostly at himself, I think. If I had known from the beginning that he meant to die as he killed Vicious... Well...it doesn't matter anymore, I probably would have loved him anyway. The road to hell really is paved with good intentions...and that's all I've ever had, it seems..._

The rickety, useless little ship Spike had bought just barely got him on the soil of Venus' surface before it broke down. He sold it for scrap and went over in his mind the conversation he'd had with Jett.

"Faye lived with me back on Ganymede for about two years... Then she said something about not being able to forget and disappeared. I haven't heard from her since, and I don't want to. I gave that bitch all I had...still wasn't enough to make her forget you. Mark my words, Spike, you'll never find Faye until you stop looking. Then, she'll be right there, and you'll kick yourself for not seeing her sooner." Jett's tired old eyes had glimmered with a spark of life before they dimmed and he raised the bottle to his lips again. Faye had really done a number on him, whether she'd known it or not.

The sands of Venus were hot against Spike's old shoes, quickly heating his feet and making him walk faster around the city than he would have otherwise. He questioned all passersby, entered every bar, brothel and casino, and finally got a clue: Faye went back to Earth.

Without even thanking the woman who'd told him, he sped out of there like a cat on fire. He would find her, he knew he would.

And when he did, he would fall to his knees and tell her how much he loved her, no matter how she might have changed.

Earth was a green and blue jewel against the blackness of space, partially hidden by fluffy white clouds and, in places, thunderstorms. It was the most beautiful planet in the solar system, maybe because it was where human civilization had begun, the planet the species continued to call home, no matter how far they traveled or how inhabitable they made it. It was the beginning of all things for humanity, and what better place to find and finish things with Faye?

Everyone on Earth seemed to know who Faye was, but none of them knew where to find her. They all said the same thing: ask the old woman outside the Interplanetary Cryogenic Research Facility. So, Spike went.

End Chapter Three, Chapter Four coming soon.


	4. Epilogue

Searching for Salvation

Chapter Four, Epilogue

_I have waited so long for him, for my Spike. I wonder if he'll know. If he'll be able to see me...if he'll be able to love me. Oh, Spike, please see me, I don't want you to forget me..._

The Interplanetary Cryogenic Research Facility was a modern, blisteringly white brick building on the edge of a lake. Deep out in the middle of the water the lake appeared green from the chemicals in the water and the depth. But it was no comparison to the perfect green of Faye's eyes.

He saw the old woman, sitting on a bench down by the shore. She was short and stooped, withered with age. Spike carefully approached her; she might be his last hope to find Faye. At the sound of his footsteps, the old woman raised her head and fixed him with a piercing stare. Spike's breath caught in his throat as he stared into her perfect green eyes. He could only stare, watching as the woman looked at him, some strange plea in her gaze.

"I'm looking for a woman...named Faye. I was told to look for her here." He could say no more, and his voice cracked on the last word. The old woman blinked, but not quickly enough to stop the tear that rolled down her cheek.

"I might know where she is, but she's changed a great deal you see. The years she was frozen have caught up to her and she's not the great beauty she once was." Spike choked on the next breath he took. Her voice...her voice hadn't changed at all. He closed his eyes and listened to her breathing.

"I...don't care. I love her. I never told her that. I could have died if I had only told her that, but I couldn't." Spike felt the woman's fingers brush his cheek, but they weren't wrinkled or gnarled with age. They felt soft and smooth, with only a slight callus on her trigger finger.

"Can you see me Spike? Do I look old and horrible to you?" He opened his bi-colored eyes and gasped, seeing not the old woman, but his Faye. His fallen goddess, his casino queen. Thefairy princesshe'd sell his soul for in a heartbeat or less. She smiled cynically. "It comes and goes, the age. The doctors don't know what it is, or why it's happening. They don't know if or when I'll stabilize, or what the end result may be. Knowing this, do you still love me?"

Spike ran his fingers through her hair, down her jaw, up her cheek before his knees gave out and he fell to the ground unconscious. Weeks of relentlessly searching the galaxy when he belonged in a hospital had finally caught up with him.

When he woke up though, she was sitting beside him, holding his hand in hers. Gently, Spike leaned over and placed a feathery kiss on her cheek.

"I'll love you always, my Romany girl. We could both die tomorrow or live a thousand years. Either way, I'm not tearing off across the galaxy looking for you again. I'm keeping you here with me, wrinkles and all."

_I was awake, but I didn't think he'd want to know that. He saw me, and...he didn't reject me. I had been so afraid that he wouldn't love me if faced with such uncertainty... I guess I should have known the Space Cowboy wouldn't let me down, regardless of looks. _

It wasn't long after Spike let his feelings be known that he pulled a set of handcuffs from his coat pocket and snapped them around his and Faye's wrists. He'd be damned if he'd ever let her go.

The End.

Thanks to all who reviewed. I made this a happier, more WAFFy ending than I had first intended, but I think it's cute. Tell me what you think, and feel free to email me your suggestions for improvement and future works.


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